Football Jokes

I was at church service in Miami this week and I recognized two football players there, one from the Bears and one from the Colts. After the service, the players lingered. After a few minutes, the Colts player moved to the side of the church, lit a votive candle, knelt, said a prayer and left. The Bears player who had been watching him went to the same spot, looked at the candle, and blew it out. GO BEARS

A Bears fan was driving when he spotted a Colts fan walking along the road. For fun, he swerved near him, veering away just in time. Though he was certain he had missed the guy, he heard a loud THUD. The Bears fan glanced in his mirrors but didn't see anything. "What was that?" he asked friend in the back seat. "I thought I missed that Colts fan.""You did" replied his friend, "But I got him with the door."

A Viking fan, Packer fan and Bears fan all get busted and are given 20 lashes of a whip as penalty. Each person ends up getting one wish for good behavior. The Viking fan starts to cry and asks to be spared. He ends up wishing for a pillow to cover his back. After 10 lashes, the pillow breaks and the Viking fan is left in tears. The Packer fan is next and he begins to beg. He also settles on his wish and asks for two pillows. After 15 lashes, the pillows fall apart and the Packer fan whimpers away. The Bear fan is next and proudly steps forward. The panel of judges, seeing him not start to beg, say they will offer him two wishes for being so brave. The Bears fan thinks for a bit and says, "My first wish is to have 100 lashes." The panel is shocked but grants him this wish. "And for my second wish, I want the Green Bay Packer fan tied to my back.